A Fairy Tale of Dún Laoghaire 2

I knew the game was up when my mother told me that Santy had given her a list. I had heard about his many imitators and knew they were just benign North Pole ambassadors who lacked his Arctic magic. I met one of them once in Lee’s on the main street of Dun Laoghaire, in … Read more

Flann O’Brien Labs Assess the €9 Lunch

Breaking news from The Kimmage Chronicle: everything you need to know about live music and €9 lunches in the shifting Covid-19 landscape. Following rigorous retrials in the Flann O’Brien Laboratory, the €9 lunch – hitherto thought to be just a step too far in terms of potentially spreading Covid-19 – has been found to be … Read more

Poetry: Billy O Hanluain

Gold Fish I envy the gold fish the dignity of his fits and spasms mid the glass shards of his smashed aquarium, the water that was his air, evaporating, floor board sucked around him, gills screaming, cold blood pierced by the furnace of room temperature, epileptic defiance as oxygen congeals his world. The brittle bowl … Read more

Head Shop

Tedium was tip tapping on the pane of Gibbo’s day, the hours slouching into another shite night alone, like the slow but certain, annihilating course of ink on blotting paper. A visit to Tosh in the Head Shop “Happy Daze” on George’s St might just resurrect the dregs, if not by consuming a selection of … Read more

Nobody told me there’d be days like these

Lockdown measures remind me of the prescription of anti-depressants and other psychiatric medicines. They are both harsh, and both are administered in response to a moment of crisis; both often have severe side effects, which in time often obscure the initial malady that required their prescription. Anti-depressants can be beneficial in stabilizing a patient and … Read more

The Shelbourne’s Moving Statues

Editor’s Note: On Monday 26th of July the luxury 5-star Shelbourne Hotel in Dublin removed four bronze statues depicting two Nubian princesses from the lower Nile with slave girls holding torches. The statues had stood outside the five-star hotel since 1867. Billy O Hanluain reflects on the decision. Further to reports and in the interests … Read more

Randal McDonnell – ‘I’d gladly strike the first match at his cremation and spit paraffin on his embers’

I was sickened to read a fawning obituary to an absolute creep and impostor Randal McDonnell. It fails to mention that he was a predator and pederast with an insatiable lust for young boys. He made a misery of my late teenage years and I carried for way too long the shame and guilt for … Read more

Overheard in the Local

Overheard in the local last night D’ye go to mass at all? Ah, just the odd time, ye know, Christmas ‘n funerals. I see, I do go meself most weeks, don’t agree with it all but I like the words but I tell ye something ye get a very different class of a handshake down … Read more

Cassandra Voices
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