Funk | Cassandra Voices

Funk

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Yeah, been in a funk. These last few weeks. Couple of things contributed to it. But an overarching feeling is one of restlessness. My worst fears were realized when I moved back to the suburbs. Always associated my youth with a debilitating depression. Growing up here. Feeling so different.

For much of my life I dealt with depression. Finding things that interested me, with which I then filled my days. Found a job I loved and overworked. Took pride in my resilience. Stamina. Charting how productive I was. Seemed to stave off the sadness. Both from the business itself, and seeing myself get so much done.

I’ve infinite time on my hands now. Had hoped the Spanish tutorials and woodworking would pique my interest. Maybe take over. Didn’t realize how much of my identity is comprised of being like this. Type-A personality. Working myself to death. Raised by people who honored above all, the work ethic. Bootstrap economics. Wasn’t prepared for the fact that I’d struggle with a sense of worthiness. When unemployed. And underpaid. The rational me knows better. But at my core I wonder. What will develop. From this radical new chapter.

Integrating shadow work on family issues is deceptive. And exhausting. Feeling a bit stuck at times. So, all apologies for not showing up. At least not in the ways I usually do. Trust some good will come from this. But man, does it suck.

On the plus side, at Christmas I was reminded just how much I enjoy wrapping presents. So, there’s that. And also this amazing autumnal light. To help me hang in there. With grace. And patience. In solidarity.

Feature Image: Marina Azzaro

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About Author

Will Warren

Will Warren grew up in New England, training both as metal smith and jazz percussionist in his teens. He majored in Conflict Resolution and film making at Bennington in Vermont, and now acts as a business and branding consultant in Washington, DC and New York City. He and rescue dog, Rumble, live in Connecticut. Their latest venture is developing an Andalusian avocado farm into a luxury destination.

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